he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
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I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
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Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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