bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
