When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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