people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
