He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
