I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
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Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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