you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
