yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
