Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
