Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
