I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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