I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
