I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize