There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Gay?
German.
Pity.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
