she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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