I CAN MOONWALK!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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