Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
