I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
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It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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