it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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