So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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