i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
