The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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