Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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