How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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