now i know why i became what i already was.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
