We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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