I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
