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You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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