Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
