I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
