how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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