Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
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Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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