Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
