so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
