too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
All I want is dick and wine.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
