There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
