Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
