what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
