you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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