That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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