So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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