I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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