So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
