I'm gonna have a badass scar
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
