no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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