Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
