i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
