Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
