then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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