he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize