Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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