I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
