return my video game
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
