is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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