Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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