you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
