How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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