One girl and one boy is just not enough.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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