i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
