i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
