dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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