i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"