we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.