planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
