We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
