Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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