i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Randomize
