Dual....:-)
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
