You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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