So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
