Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
