I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
